Any violence in the home, whether it is directed at the children or not, can lead to the following behaviors and characteristics:
- Isolation
- Doesn't invite other children over
- Aggressive/acting out behavior
- Withdraw from adults as well as peers
- May be a "model child" due to extreme desire to achieve perfection
- May become involved with drugs or alcohol
- Run away
- Mood swings
- Divulges little information about family
- May make up stories (paint an unrealistic "pretty picture" of their family)
- Loses respect for the mother
- Poor concentration
- Sudden change in school performance
- Take responsibility for the abuse
- Constant anxiety that another beating will occur
- Guilt for not being able to stop the abuse or from loving the abuser
- Fear of abandonment
How children feel when abuse occurs between parents:
- Powerless - they can't stop the abuse
- Guilty - believing that they somehow caused the abuse
- Angry - at the abuser for hurting the victim
- Angry - at the victim for staying in the situation
- Helpless - they feel a need to help solve the problem, but only end up getting hurt when they try to help
- Confused - parents may try to get children to chose sides
- Afraid - for themselves and all family members
- Isolated and insecure - often making excuses so they don't have to go home
- Dishonest and embarassed - they make up excuses to family and friends
- Overwhelmed - by the situation, often leading to poor school performance and avoiding friends