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The Cycle of Abuse

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  • Abuser may seem charming and charismatic
  • Abuser will manipulate the victim with promises, gifts or emotions
  • Victim may feel love or mixed emotions for abuser

Tension Building

  • Victim feels as though they are walking on egg shells
  • There may be increased verbal & emotional abuse, isolation & threats
  • Victim and abuser may minimize tension & abuse
  • Abuser may increase blame

Abusive Incident

  • Abuser feels a loss of control
  • Abusive incident(s) occurs - physical, verbal or emotional
  • Victim experiences and responds to trauma
  • the environment feels unpredictable


  • Abuser may apologize for abuse
  • Abuser may admit or deny wrong doing
  • Abuser may promise a future without abuse
  • Abuser may promise to change or seek help
  • Abuser will blame the victim