Does the person you love...

• Track all your time?
• Discourage other relationships?
• Humiliate you in front of others?
• Have extreme mood changes?
• Anger easily when using alcohol or drugs?
• Accuse you of being unfaithful?

Has the person you love ever...

• Struck or slapped you?
• Threatened you with an object or weapon?
• Given you visible injuries?
• Been violent towards your children or pets?
• Forced you to have sex against your will?

Your partner may offer, or may be advised, to seek the help of a therapist or counselor. We advise you make plans for your own protection, independent of any counseling he/she may receive. If you want to give him/her or the relationship another chance, we suggest you do so only after you see a lasting change in his/her behavior.

You should consider that:

• Abuse usually gets worse unless some action is taken to stop the violence
• It may take up to one year or more of committed work on the abuser's part to change his/her abusive behavior.
• Any treatment for drug or alcohol abuse should also include treatment for violent and abusive behavior and protection for the victim.
• Emotional and sexual abuse must also be dealt with in counseling for abusers.
• It is often best that partners live separately while the abuser works on his/her violent behavior.
• Consider the effect on your children of living with violence in your home. They may also need counseling.
• There is no guarantee that counseling will stop the abuse.